Never buy a house where adorable little boys reside next door. Because one day they grow into teenagers. And that bites. Last week, one of said teen idiots looked at a crater-sized hole in my front lawn [that the Water Company dug for no apparent reason in January?!] – and thought stupid thoughts. Like… “Hey, my […]
Tag Archives: vagina
It’s a teeny tiny hole. That’s it. Who knew a teeny tiny hole could be such a huge pain in my ass? “See it? Right there,” the forensic engineer from my insurance company is pointing to a microscopic whole in the vinyl siding of my house that is very close to the roof. Nope, I […]
Shh… I’m at work. Don’t tell anyone I am reading a blog by some dude crushing on his penis. [Gotta love the interwebs, baby!] I don’t want penises anywhere near my body. But if you wanna write about your man parts or just get naked… I’m in. All the way in. Now, hold all of […]
I can’t find them. This is why I organize everything. I just hate losing things. I am not a clean freak. Ask every cat hair ball roaming around my laminate floors. But I do like to find things. Hence, the twenty million plastic organizers of all shapes and sizes in every closet and drawer. Not […]
It’s official. My vagina is an underachiever. I mean I kinda knew that already – with the cobwebs and all. But now, I have test results to prove it to my um… cats – who give less of a shit than I do. But still… In true geek fashion, I just love getting an A […]
“When was your last sexual encounter?” she asked directly. [Wow. That’s so forward….Take me to dinner first, at least.] Question: Remember the good old days when you talked about your vagina after some pie and coffee? “Over a year ago,” I said jokingly. “I am working on regaining my virginity.” I have no issues with […]
