Fork In the Road

I open my dryer with a fork. I just wedge that bad boy in a hole where the door handle once was, pry – and pop! It opens. Generally, I only believe in replacing things that are vital to my survival. Like vibrators. Every time my vibrator goes on holiday in Ibiza [translation: I lose […]

Drag Queens Are Always Right

Sigh. This is why I don’t arrive early to work meetings or want to talk to these assholes in general… Every conversation turns into a combination of The Hunger Games and the 1980’s soap opera, Dynasty. They want to kill you. But in the most dramatic, idiotic way possible. Yet, here I am. And some […]