It’s a teeny tiny hole. That’s it. Who knew a teeny tiny hole could be such a huge pain in my ass? “See it? Right there,” the forensic engineer from my insurance company is pointing to a microscopic whole in the vinyl siding of my house that is very close to the roof. Nope, I […]
Tag Archives: breasts
He is staring at my tits. Yawn. So been there, so done that. Yet another perk of having DD-cup breasts, not to be outdone by other nifty benefits like: having an automatic napkin to catch crumbs and assorted food, or a shelf for my cats to nap, or a place to rest the TV remote. […]

“Wow. You have the cleanest ceiling ever,” I said, as a my large breast was smashed like a pancake in the booby machine. The nurse was taken aback. [I am making polite conversation, lady. Hello? Work with me, okay?] “Um… yes, I guess we have cleaners,” she said laughing. “And they clean the ceiling?! That’s […]

Khloe Kardashian had a nip slip. And I. missed. it! Nads. I am totally trying not to use profanity for like a whole 5 seconds…. But holy cunnilingus. Are you telling me that I watched 2 hours of that insipid show – The X Factor – and I missed the nipple action. Say it ain’t so? […]