I open my dryer with a fork. I just wedge that bad boy in a hole where the door handle once was, pry – and pop! It opens. Generally, I only believe in replacing things that are vital to my survival. Like vibrators. Every time my vibrator goes on holiday in Ibiza [translation: I lose […]
Category Archives: pet
“He’s trying to usurp my power,” CollickyBaby declares when I walk into her office like an idiot. [Ugh!] Apparently, someone ignored CollickyBaby at a meeting – and it’s been bothering her for a month. [Are you kidding me?! I would pay not to go to meetings. I would pay more to be ignored when I go. […]
She is gone. Missing. You know that feeling you get when you know something is wrong. Well, something is wrong. My cat, Dakota, concurs. On a good day, he is a jittery, suspicious furry hot mess – that only partially likes me. I should have known when I picked him up from the shelter 10 […]
